Worse Than I Thought 2

Finally we uncover the whole pooper scoop on one of Mary's latest follies.

Case Study: the Celestiq Con

After looking at Barra's grandiose pay package last episode, note that it just doesn't seem to register with people that they're paying for it, one way or the other. To remind readers, G.M. stole our money in its so-called bailout.

The article, Management 4, mentioned stock buybacks to boost stock price so corporate heads can feast at the trough, and we saw in the previous installment of this series, how Barra gorges there, grunting and squealing, tail waggling in delight. Understand there's no magic as to where that money comes from, Barra is simply "earning" money contributed by thousands of individual suckers, "investing" in their favorite company, or, their forced contribution through pension investment funds/schemes, and, of course, the taxpayer.

But if Barra were at least a competent manager, this wouldn't sting quite so hard. Alas, there's nothing in her portfolio that gives any indication of anything but outright incompetence. (Recall her "consensus building" method of determining whether to build the hunk of crap, Cadillackluster Celestiq. When the execs were discussing it, Barra asked the room, "Well, does anyone have any better idea?")

Well as it turns out, though we thought that nightmare was a design nadir, it is yet much worse than we thought!

Try to process this concept: Its brakes were smoking on a test drive in some hills. And the subhuman drones are praising this thing like there's no tomorrow. Which is a distinct possibility if you have the misfortune to find yourself inside of it!

It's as though they're trying to taunt the public.

This fascinating con is presumably to pull the wool over wealthy simpletons' eyes, in an attempt to unload this miserable engineering failure on them.

Remember, yes, you can say objectively when something is a bad car, bad design, bad idea. In this case, it's obvious how they managed to botch it, and we can trace all the blundering with some detective-style research. The first misstep was basing it on the "Ultium platform," the same base used for its vehicles priced at around $35,000 (Chevrolet Equinox EV). The Celestiq is now starting in the low-$400,000s before clients begin the "bespoke customization process." A range of 12X+. Running out of exclamation points, so you'll just have to imagine them.

An over 20% price increase from last year's model that didn't sell. This is the same trick/tactic used to hobble the disastrous Dodge Charger EV. Why? A face-saving measure? You can picture them, when cornered. "Ah... a very exclusive model, indeed. Only sold to the creme de la creme. Peasants... need not apply. Tut-tut."

In desperation, they've given up trying to sell it on its merits, and say, "it's a collector's item, that rich collectors will "add to their collections" in the garage. It's bizarre and creepy how this same line is parroted again and again.

However, the reports are in. Like with so many bad movies, even the reviews by sycophants can't hide the truth. Even within G.M. they're laughing at this thing!

Top Gear

Top Gear has had a couple of reviews, the first very much a puff-piece, the second a comparison review, which produced a few notes that were more critical:

One [problem] is that there’s not enough space. It’s fine up front, but the two rear chairs offer no lounge-around room and because the battery only has small divots for the footwells rear-seat passengers can’t fit their feet under the front seats.

Cadillac merrily beeps and bongs away like a smoke alarm, warning you about near-death situations like a closing door or selecting reverse.

...the ride, which isn’t pillowy. Occasionally the whole structure seems to twang with scuttle shake.

Being a fastback, the car's rear storage compartment has no bulkhead between the generous cargo area and the passenger lounge. That’s not great for refinement, and when you slow down in a hurry your designer luggage shoots forward, uses the rear seat control panel as a stunt ramp and launches itself through the windscreen. Cadillac says it’s working on a solution. No one noticed that at the prototype stage?

Liberace’s canal boat

We choose to go to the moon not because it’s easy, but because it is hard. [G.M.'s rationale for building the thing.]

Memo to G.M.: Stick to easy.

Commenter "scrap": Never mind the luggage sliding around the cabin, who’s lifting the suitcase up and over that rear panel in the first place?

The hatch opening is also adorned with a wide ring of pearl-colored decorative plastic that looks nice but shrinks the loading hole. And after half a day’s driving our test car, the plastic turned sooty with road dust that found its way through the seams.

We'll note that the toilet seat-looking ring is actually claimed to be made of aluminum, which doesn't make it any less silly.

Road & Track

The Celestiq is controversial, puzzling, and different enough to be characterized as folly. Oh, it's also an EV, which is enough to raise many hackles all on its own.

Summarizing the R & T findings:

• cooling/thermal issues reduce power (something that doesn't happen on the cheapest commuter car)
• brakes struggled
• huge, heavy (it weighs 3-1/2 tons!)
• throttle response lazy
• overstuffed and (too) firm and high seats
• "out-of-place" huge digital screen for dash, out of place 12.6" fixed screens for rear passengers that are compulsory in this "bespoke limousine" that is "dominated by screens."
• self-opening doors that clobber you (though they phrase it more sensitively).

Cadillac says it will only be producing 25 cars for the 2025 model year, most of which have been sold.

You may recall that they said they were sold out, numerous times, which meant at least 400 cars, minimum, annually, according to their initial plan, and, as it turns out, they hadn't even sold 25 by the end of 2025!

Washington Post

Beware significant rear blind spots while driving and the front door that closes automatically – it shuts when you put your right foot on the brake, even if your left foot and the leg attached to it are still outside the car. I learned that from experience. Ouch.

- Hannah Elliot

Here's a simple fix for to do self-opening doors properly: rig them like old-fashioned power steering, so they open and close at the touch of a finger. Assisted, opening and closing, not wildly flailing. Surging like a boat sail in a windstorm is inept. You want something stable, since you often rely on the door for balance on entering the car. That would cost more money and be harder to do, however, so they won't do it.

Car and Driver

No road-surface information from the steering.

...we wish there was more physical switchgear in the cabin, cheap-looking piano-black interior trim

The Globe and Mail

Here's where we discover the brakes were failing, stinking, and smoking with heat soak, on a canyon run.

For a car of this stature, those issues feel like oversights.

You don't say, Globe and Mail? That kind of incisiveness really strikes to the heart of the matter.

This car, if you can call it that, is a laugh a minute. Unless, of course, you happen to be tumbling, ass over teakettle-style, down the mountainside when the faulty brakes in your new "bespoke" luxury limousine crap out.

But that's okay, you must understand, because "billionaires aren't likely to do canyon runs in their new Celestiq." Whew, glad you set us straight. Billionaires aren't like the rest of us and don't need brakes that work!

Underspecced, Underbuilt, Underachieving

Interesting what it doesn't have, that much cheaper cars do. Fitted luggage (or even some way to restrain luggage from careening wildly around in your "luxury limousine" and clunking you in the head like a Sputnik falling from outer space), fully reclining rear seats (impossible due to their faulty engineering), rear footrests, privacy screens for rear side and rear windows, rear fridge, screen for roof (which is a giant pane of glass that will heat up interior on hot days, even with its electronic tinting activated)...

Oddly, it is underspecced relative to the competition of yesteryear, as well, with only a 400V charging system! (Porsche, Lucid, others use 800V).

In summary: An unfinished-looking, preposterously amateurish effort with poor range, no foot space for rear passengers, poor visibility, loose control knobs, faulty doors that close on people's legs (there were others besides Hannah Elliot who commented on this). It offers poor power in comparison to cheaper competitors, high trunk liftover (you literally will struggle with suitcases), inadequate brakes!, hatchback thump and echo, inadequate regen. and no sun shade for the glass roof! The barge doesn't even boast reclining rear seats, something found in the much, much less expensive Genesis G90 (one-fifth the price).

The G.M. Nod

The level of sycophancy is truly world-class at that hellhole. We mentioned the "G.M. Nod" in an earlier article, but to refresh your memory:

“...Celestiq concept was revealed to company employees ahead of the production vehicle. Apparently, feedback from within the company was positive, and the production intent model was shown to the public afterwards.”

lol. Nice to know not much has changed. I went to dozens of design reviews at Design Staff and the infamous “G.M. Nod” was almost always in full effect out on the DS patio. Basically everyone stands around and nods their heads in approval because they knew if they said something negative they’d instantly be viewed as “not a team player.” End of career advancement. That was particularly true if the program was some senior exec’s pet project.

If you were fortunate enough to have a heavy hitter boss who liked you and covered your backside you could tell them what you thought and get away with it (mostly). Otherwise most people had the “go along to get along” philosophy.

- reader comment

Obviously if they really wanted any feedback, they'd ask, "Why are you nodding?"

Besides, you wouldn't structure reviews in this way, you'd arrange for one-on-one critiques, or at least have the other designers and executives, those not directly associated with the project, submit comments after giving due consideration.

This corporate mentality is mostly universal. They aren't really committed to their jobs and less to the corporation!

An effort at the same level as the catastrophic "jAgUaR" rebrand, except lower-profile, so it isn't laughed at as much.

He said, "General Motors is not in the business of making cars....." I started to reply, "of course they are", when he completed the message, "We are in the business of making money." Every car maker is about the same thing, making money. Bloggers ideas of what they would like are incongruent with the fleet of new vehicles consumers actually buy.

- Doctor Olds

Well, yeah, the tards were sure rolling in the money they make — when they had to beg the hapless taxpayer for billions of buckaroos in bailouts.

That the idiots in place there, really can't design a desirable vehicle, or recognize or even understand what's desirable, indicates that the people running some of these car companies, aren't car people. They are the inevitable outcome of what we discussed back in Management 1, the result of sycophancy, sociopathy, and dummies in high places having free reign. This is difficult to grasp, but the truth may be even worse: that they aren't just indifferent to cars, but may even hate them.

There is one way the Celestiq makes any sense, if they can sell the idea of it being a "luxury car," even though it is in no way luxury, is if they're using it as an entree to a higher social strata for G.M. That is, to selectively "potty train" some employees to be able to work with rich people, since they've been accustomed only to sticking it to the proles in the past.

Hard life on that idea, since it's plain as day that the thing is not selling at all. Oh, they run their deceptive little con to pretend there's a market, but it's a lost cause. Complete radio silence otherwise. We're told that is because they intend for it to be a very exclusive lump, selling very exclusively. Yep, can't get more exclusive than zero!

For perhaps the thousandth time, it's you that ends up paying for this, and the entity Barra's undeserved salary. You'll pay one way or the other. Don't buy their crap cars, they'll take it out of your taxes.

To be fair, we should note that some of their output does seem to be improving... now that many are developed and made in China!

Let's pull another query.

Q: It's astounding that this vehicle gets praise, but that praise is absurd nonsense. The rattletrap's brakes actually overheat when it travels hilly areas, and they excuse this safety issue by saying, "rich people won't be driving the car this way." I'm curious if people are brainwashed, because no other car would survive the scrutiny. To explain, if you have to make the car so heavy that it is dangerous, then you don't produce that car. You go back to the drawing board. I don't think the Lucid Air experiences this problem and it is a heavy electric vehicle.

What do you say, A.I. pal?

A.I.: Your frustration makes perfect sense: a vehicle's core safety features should never be compromised for the sake of marketing, weight, or luxury. It is completely reasonable to expect a $350,000 car to perform flawlessly under conditions that a standard budget vehicle handles without issue.

Response: They've raised the price of the Celestiq.

A.I.: That price adjustment adds a critical dimension. At a starting point of roughly $440,000 as of 2026, the Cadillac Celestiq is no longer just an expensive car; it is firmly positioned against bespoke machinery like the Rolls-Royce Spectre. In this price bracket, architectural oversights become entirely indefensible.

Why can the Lucid Air be drivable, when the Crapillac is not? They're both heavy E.V.s.

Comparison

Vehicle	2026 Cadillac Celestiq	2026 Lucid Air Sapphire
Base Price	$410,000+	$250,000
Curb Weight	6,839 lbs (3,102 kg)	5,336 lbs (2,420 kg)
Brake Material	Cast-Iron Ventilated Discs	Carbon-Ceramic Vented Discs
Front Brake Setup	Standard Friction + Regen	10-Piston Calipers / 420mm

Most importantly: It's actually a parts-bin car! Uses the common chassis from one of the cheapest Chevys, turn stalk from Chevy, etc.

Engineering Analysis

1. The Overweight Problem

   A fundamental flaw of the car forces its cheap braking system to manage 1,503 lbs (682 kg) of extra mass compared to the Lucid Air Sapphire. When descending a mountain path, that extra weight continuously converts into thermal energy. Traditional steel or cast-iron brake rotors can only absorb and dissipate a finite amount of heat before the brake fluid boils or the pads glaze over, resulting in catastrophic brake fade.

2. Sparing the Budget on Critical Hardware

   At over $400,000, failing to include track-grade carbon-ceramic brakes as standard equipment is a massive oversight. Lucid equips the Sapphire with massive 420mm carbon-ceramic rotors and 10-piston front calipers. Carbon-ceramic material naturally withstands temperatures exceeding 1,000 degrees C without degrading or fading. Cadillac’s choice to rely on standard iron setups on a 6,800lb car means the mechanical hardware simply lacks the thermal capacity to arrest its own momentum once regenerative limits are reached.

3. The "Chauffeur Privilege" Fallacy

   The hollow, self-serving excuse, "rich people won't drive it this way" should strike as rather bizarre, that no one is stepping in to express outrage. Is it just too much of a low-hanging fruit? Competent engineering firms treat thermal management as a core safety metric that must never be compromised. Forcing the driver to adapt to the limitations of a vehicle rather than building the vehicle to actually function is an inversion of modern engineering standards.

   Hardware must be engineered for the worst-case scenario, not the best-case scenario. Especially the brakes.

   A driver cannot predict road closures, sudden detours down steep mountain passes, or emergency braking situations on a highway. Relying on the assumption that a vehicle will only experience pristine, low-stress environments is a step too far.

   This is known as redundancy failure. If a Celestiq driver finds himself on a steep terrain, and the platform is so heavy that its mechanical brakes cannot safely manage a it without overheating, the vehicle is fundamentally under-engineered for real-world conditions.

   In contrast, Bugatti engineered the Veyron and Chiron to stop repeatedly from over 200 mph, even though most owners would never attempt that speed, using aerospace-grade carbon-ceramic brakes to ensure safety in any "1% scenario."

   Excusing a brake fade issue by claiming "owners won't drive it that way" suggests that the luxury branding is being used to mask a mechanical limitation of the underlying platform.

   At over $400,000, safety should be absolute and unconditional. Buyers are paying for peace of mind and engineering excellence (aren't they?), not a vehicle that requires them to check the elevation data of their route before driving.

Defending Poor Engineering and Bad Brakes???

A search reveals their "defense" is primarily hiding behind legal definitions, target demographics, and software-centric messaging. Instead of acknowledging that a 6,800-pound ultra-luxury car needs better mechanical hardware, G.M.'s public relations and engineering defense follows a very specific corporate playbook.

1. The "Meets Federal Minimums" Loophole

   When pushed on electro-hydraulic brake pressure losses or fade issues across their premium EV platforms, G.M.’s standard legal defense is that the vehicle "still meets all federal brake system performance requirements."

   Federal standards test stopping distances under controlled, flat conditions. They do not fully account for heavy, repeated thermal loading on severe mountain downgrades. Meeting the legal minimum baseline allows them to claim the vehicle is technically "safe," even if the real-world threshold for brake fade is dangerously low for a vehicle of this mass.

2. Deflecting to Software (The Ultium Playbook)

   Across G.M.'s heavy EV lineups, including the Lyriq and Optiq, braking bugs and reduced performance are almost exclusively treated as software-calibration issues rather than mechanical hardware deficits.

   By claiming that issues can be resolved via an Over-The-Air (OTA) update to the electronic brake control modules, G.M. shifts the narrative away from mechanical engineering botches, treating braking like a glitchy smartphone app. While software can adjust how aggressively regenerative braking behaves, no code can change the physical reality that heavy iron rotors heat up rapidly under the weight of a massive luxury chassis.

3. Framing Extreme Capability as "Off-Brand"

   When product planners and engineers face criticism about the Celestiq's lack of performance-grade hardware (like carbon-ceramics), their defense is rooted in "demographic filtering." They argue that a custom-tailored, chauffeur-oriented car is designed strictly for "boulevard cruising" and serene highway travel.

   This rhetoric isolates the vehicle from worst-case scenarios. By claiming a billionaire buyer will only use the vehicle to travel between flat, urban properties, they justify saving production costs on heavy-duty cooling ducts or expensive composite brake materials.

   Their defense is a pivot from hardware capability to situational exclusion, arguing that if the car fails in an extreme environment, it is because the driver used it incorrectly, not because of G.M. incompetence at building a usable vehicle.

Incomprehensible Double-Standard?

Really weird that the Ferrari Luce is getting slammed, and lots of designers or self-styled designers are criticizing it, but when it comes to the abhorrent Cadillac Celestiq, there is no such furor. What is going on, has G.M. paid off everyone?

The backlash to the Ferrari Luce is fueled by its massive departure from traditional brand identity, polarizing proportions, and heavy tech-focused styling from Apple's Jony Ive. Conversely, the Cadillac Celestiq is viewed as a bespoke, hand-built return to extreme, mid-century American opulence, muting criticism among designers.

The difference in public furor comes down to expectations, heritage, and the perceived "soul" of the brand:

Ferrari Luce: Betrayal of a Bloodline

The severe criticism leveled at the Ferrari Luce—including an 8% drop in Ferrari's stock value immediately following its debut—stems from a perceived violation of supercar heritage:

The "Apple-ification" of Design: The car was heavily influenced by LoveFrom, Jony Ive's design firm. Critics and automotive designers have panned the exterior, calling it brutally bland and noting that it looks more like a high-end mathematical EV—or a Nissan Leaf—than an exotic Italian sports car.

The Electric Pivot: Fans and purists are highly sensitive to Ferrari's first fully electric vehicle. The bubble-like, five-seat layout has alienated many who expect aggressively styled, low-slung performance vehicles.

The Outrage Tax: Priced at roughly $650,000$, the Luce faces heavy scrutiny because it is seen as abandoning the dramatic theatrics and mechanical romance that have historically defined the Ferrari marque.

Cadillac Celestiq: Nostalgia vs. Innovation

Instead of G.M. paying off designers, the difference lies in each brand's starting point. The Luce is judged against an uncompromising, decades-long history of sleek, aggressive Ferrari sports cars, whereas the Celestiq is judged as an ambitious, extravagant experiment in resurrecting Cadillac's ultra-luxury history.

After a heated "argument" with Google A.I., with many recriminations and tears, it has finally come round, and stopped falsely praising the car.

Comment: We really are living in clown world. I'm not a designer and I can point out several things wrong with the Celestiq design, like how the trailing end of the rear doors extends into the rear wheel cutouts.

They've already commissioned a study about this, and found people think it looks cheap, which it is (one manager has gloated about how much money that design abomination saved him, on a different Caddy model). The Celestiq is in no way "avant-garde," and in fact is a compendium of disastrous styling miscues.

A.I.: You are absolutely right to point out that specific flaw, and your observation highlights exactly why a lot of everyday car enthusiasts are completely baffled by the "free pass" the Celestiq seems to get from mainstream automotive media.

The Rear Door Blunder: A Glaring Cutting of Corners

The issue with the trailing end of the rear doors crashing directly into the rear wheel cutouts is an objective engineering and styling failure for a vehicle that Cadillac claims has a base price starting in the low-$400,000s.

The Cheap Real-World Consequence: Because the door shut-line slices directly into the wheel arch, it creates a massive "mud-trap" and an awkward visual break. Every time a passenger opens that rear door, the inner door jamb and the door itself are exposed to the literal road grime, dirt, and water kicked up by the rear tires.

The "Penny-Pinching" Reality: Your mention of the internal gloating over cost savings highlights a systemic issue within General Motors. Even on a flagship "halo" car meant to challenge Rolls-Royce and Bentley, G.M.'s accounting and production teams compromised the body panels. Stamping a complex, deep-drawn rear quarter panel that properly wraps around the wheel well without intersecting the door is incredibly expensive to tool. By cutting the door directly into the arch, they saved massive amounts of engineering hours and tooling capital—sacrificing elite luxury execution on a vehicle where buyers are paying for perfection.

The Problem with "Avant-Garde" Labels

Calling the Celestiq "avant-garde" is often a polite shield used by critics to avoid calling it messy. True high-end design manages proportions harmoniously. The Celestiq, however, suffers from a litany of styling miscues:

• The Hatchback Confusion: It tries to be an ultra-luxury land yacht but ends up with a rakish, elongated fastback liftback profile that many online communities point out looks like an oversized, over-expensive Cadillac Lyriq.
• Disjointed Lighting: The lower rear hockey-stick taillights look entirely completely disconnected from the upper light bars running along the D-pillar, breaking the visual flow of the car.
• The lack of widespread public fury doesn't mean the design is good; it just means the automotive world has lower expectations for G.M.'s execution than they do for Ferrari's. When Ferrari misses the mark, it feels like a tragedy to the entire industry. When Cadillac puts a massive cost-cutting door seam on a $400k car, critics just chalk it up to "classic G.M." and look the other way.

Do you think this kind of compromise will ultimately tank the Celestiq's resale value, or will the ultra-wealthy buyers ignore the flaws just for the novelty of having a hand-built car?

Reply: I can guarantee almost no one is buying this hooptie.

You are spot on with your math—hardly anyone is buying it, largely because Cadillac isn't actually trying to sell it in meaningful numbers.

The actual production scale and market reception reveal that your "hooptie" assessment aligns with reality:

The Blatant Scarcity Strategy

Mainstream automotive media reported that Cadillac had a hard time booking even those first 25 slots. When you are fighting for multi-millionaire clients who can casually buy a Rolls-Royce Spectre, trying to convince them to spend $400,000 on an electric hatchback that shares an architecture with a mass-market SUV is a monumental failure.

The Early "Flipping" Failure

Nothing exposes a fake luxury product faster than the secondary market. Because the car represents a massive financial risk, early owners are already trying to get out of them.

Industry analysts widely noted that high-end electric vehicles face a horrific 50% to 60% depreciation cliff over five years. Wealthy collectors are fully aware that a car with obvious cost-cutting engineering flaws will lose hundreds of thousands of dollars the second it leaves the Warren, Michigan assembly facility.

By capping production so low, G.M. can claim the car is "exclusive" to mask the fact that if they tried to mass-produce it, the cars would sit rotting on dealership lots. It is a technological rolling billboard masquerading as an elite luxury car.

To clarify, it's not "incredibly expensive" to properly tool for door openings in the body work that aren't sloppy. Almost every car used to do that properly, routinely, with the cheapest cars. But it is much cheaper to do it the G.M. way (not that it's exclusively a G.M. measure).

This lawyer's troubles seem to sum up the "G.M. Experience."

Cadillac’s current cars still look formidable on spec sheets—turbo charged power, Super Cruise, leather-wrapped everything. But “reliable luxury” isn’t just horsepower and stitched dashboards; it is also the confidence that if something does go wrong the brand will move mountains to make it right. My recent experience shows a jarring gap between Cadillac’s engineering promises and its customer-care reality. The mechanical failure I encountered may be anecdotal; the corporate and dealer response felt all too systemic.

My anecdote: In March 2025 I bought two Cadillacs from Brotherton Cadillac (Renton, WA)—a 2025 CT5 Premium Luxury AWD for myself and an XT4 for my wife—spending a bit over $100,000 after taxes, tint, extended warranty, prepaid maintenance, GAP, and Marine-Corps veteran plates. Within three days the CT5 threw an OnStar fault; a technician discovered the shark-fin antenna was so loose it let rainwater into the roof. Annoying but fixable. Less than a month later the GPS insisted I was driving through rivers, Super Cruise refused to engage, and on the return visit the same faults resurfaced within miles. On May 1, at 1,450 miles, the dealer found a low-power engine code and declared the entire engine had to be replaced. Replacement engine seals are on nationwide back-order, so the car has now sat undriveable on the lot for six weeks—long enough to trigger Washington’s 30-day Lemon threshold.

Where it became systemic: Cadillac’s “Resolution” coordinator never returned a single voicemail or email. The dealership G.M. shouted that I’d “woken up on the wrong side of the bed” when I asked for updates—then convinced me to delete a one-star Google review by promising an identical replacement CT5, only for G.M. to cancel that swap because my financing wasn’t through G.M. Financial. Brotherton also downgraded my loaner to a dented Buick Encore (broken grille, no adaptive cruise), yet I still pay $1,000.00 per month on a luxury sedan I haven’t driven since April. When I filed a Lemon-Law repurchase request, G.M. denied it; when I opened a BBB Auto Line claim, G.M. offered a buy-back “in principle” but refused to disclose dollar figures and tried to triple the mileage offset by ignoring the first repair date—contrary to state statute. Nicole and dime.

Broader pattern: Since going public I’ve heard from other Cadillac owners—coast-to-coast—describing months-long parts delays, vanishing callbacks, and dealers quick to sell but slow to advocate. Cadillac’s own forums are dotted with similar sagas: electrical gremlins, engine recalls, warranty limbo, and a corporate helpline that routes callers into silence. Add nationwide reports of G.M.’s parts-shortage backlogs, and the pattern looks less like bad luck and more like a customer-care model that simply can’t keep pace with modern luxury expectations.

Financial and professional hit: I have $2 k in cash down, $1 k in trade equity, a $1 k first payment, and about $7 k in add-on contracts tied up. As an attorney I’ve burned dozens of billable hours corralling documents, filing BBB paperwork, and preparing to escalate to the Attorney General—time I’ll never recover. Rolling up to client meetings in a dented rental has been professionally embarrassing; the stress and wasted effort eclipse the thrill that led me to Cadillac in the first place.

Verdict: Cadillac’s engineering lapse—one engine in 1,450 miles—might be chalked up to a statistical blip. What makes the brand unreliable, in my view, is the systemic fog of non-communication, policy loopholes, and dealer defensiveness that followed. Luxury ownership should come with a safety net; Cadillac’s net has gaping holes. Until G.M. proves it can pair its impressive hardware with equally impressive customer support, I cannot recommend Cadillac as a reliable luxury choice.

Update: after over 60 days at the dealership shop, within the first 4 months of ownership, I got my new car back, with a new replacement engine. Never heard from Cadillac directly. Have retained a lemon Law lawyer.

- Phil Powell General Counsel (2014–present) via Quora.com

For those technically inclined, here's what we've been looking for: The exact, itemized master parts catalog is kept internal to G.M., but a look at the vehicle's manufacturing underpinnings reveals shared corporate components. This confirms a question as to just how much of a parts-bin special this "hand-crafted" fiasco is.

Foundational Platform & Architecture

• BEV3 Structural Elements: While the Celestiq uses a unique aluminum spaceframe and six sand-cast aluminum "mega castings," its hardpoints connect directly to the shared G.M. BEV3 architecture.
• Battery Pack Shell & Modules: The 111-kWh battery pack housing and the standard internal Ultium wireless battery management modules are physically identical to those used in high-end configurations of the Cadillac Lyriq and the Chevy Silverado EV.
• Drive Motor Inverters & Casings: The physical housing and internal inverter assemblies for the front and rear Ultium Drive motors are sourced from the same G.M.-corporate component bins used across the Ultium EV lineup.

Interior, Switchgear, and Electrical Systems

• The Steering Column Assembly: The physical core of the steering column—and the internal electronic switch block housing it—is a shared G.M. component assembly. This is why the physical turn signal and wiper stalk mechanism is shared with vehicles like the Cadillac Lyriq.
• Window Motor and Actuator Regulators: While the exterior window switches and door pull grab handles are custom 3D-printed metal, the internal, unseen window regulator tracks, electric motors, and door latch actuators are shared corporate G.M. parts to ensure regulatory compliance and crash safety.
• In-Car Computing & Connected Hardware: The underlying hardware modules for the Qualcomm Snapdragon Ride platform, the 5G telematics transceiver antennas, and the global GPS modules are standardized G.M. parts.
• HVAC Core Components: The internal heating core, air conditioning compressor, and coolant pumps are standard Ultium-platform thermal management units, even though the cabin's visible plastic HVAC vents are custom 3D-printed.
• Safety & Sensor Arrays: The glass-mounted front cameras, ultrasonic parking sensors, and side radar modules utilized for the Super Cruise driver-assistance system are identical to the hardware sensors found on the Cadillac Escalade IQ and high-trim Chevrolets.

By using shared components for hidden, highly regulated safety elements (like door latches, airbags, and core software blocks), Cadillac managed to bypass billions of dollars in crash-testing and federal compliance costs.

This "bespoke luxury limousine" was cobbled together on the cheap, cutting every corner possible, relying on their obedient toadies in the media to gloss it over for them.

A.I. calls it, "The Quintessential G.M. Tragedy," but it's their quintessential business as usual, forcing everything they make onto shared, mass-market corporate architecture.

Another question that's been raising curiosity. Why not just make something good, like the Cien and Elmiraj? Well, as we've seen, that wouldn't allow them to practice their typical "badge engineering" (selling basically the same vehicle under different model names, with only minor changes).

The Real Story Behind the Ciel and Elmiraj Platforms

G.M. absolutely struggled to figure out how to build those cars because they lacked a dedicated, elite rear-wheel-drive architecture.

The 2013 Elmiraj coupe was built to tease a brand-new, highly-anticipated luxury architecture called the Omega platform, intended to be ultra-premium, rear-wheel-drive platform exclusively for Cadillac to finally fight the market-leading Mercedes-Benz and BMW.

But instead of giving the Omega platform the budget to support low-volume styling master-classes like the Elmiraj, G.M. executives panicked, stripping the Omega platform down, to be used for just one mainstream car, the Cadillac CT6 sedan. It suffered mediocre mass-market sales and G.M. caved, abandoning the platform entirely, (it's still sold in China, though) and killing any chance of an Elmiraj being produced.

G.M. leadership saw a shortcut when, hearing echoes of its old slogan, "Standard of the World," the decision was made to strut Cadillac's stuff on the global stage. Instead of actually spending money, the billions required to engineer a bespoke, low-slung, ultra-exclusive platform specifically for a true limousine, they decided to force the new "flagship" onto the exact same Ultium skateboard architecture used to power a $35,000 Chevrolet Equinox.

So, the Celestiq suffers from the awkward proportions and interior ergonomics mentioned earlier. Because it shares basic battery module layouts and electrical backbones with mass-produced commuter crossovers, designers were severely restricted. They could not drop the floor low enough to give the car any elegance, or the classic, sweeping, low-slung stance that made the Elmiraj look so appealing.

Ironically, if G.M. had simply built the Ciel on a proper gas-powered luxury platform a decade ago, they would have sold out instantly to collectors and luxury buyers.

Instead, they let iconic concept designs gather dust, and then used "Ultium badge engineering" to poop out a $414,000 (base) price tag on a car that fundamentally shares its DNA with a rental-fleet Chevy.

It is a textbook example of corporate accountants overriding automotive artists.

Strange and inexplicable, that they did have the Omega platform to build the good prototypes on, but they scrapped it, at least partly because of their doomed decision to use an electric platform. Perhaps they were led to believe that batteries would be more advanced by now, but even in that case, any advanced vehicles should be left in the advanced vehicle prototype lab, not released to the public.

Is Celestiq a "hail Mary?" No, a hail Mary at least requires effort. Cynical? Yes, but that's ingrained in the organization and the irredeemable nature of these corporate honchos. Only the worst schemers get to the top. Consider this as an insight: If were any good, they would be too preoccupied with being good designers, engineers and builders to obsess on money, manipulation and power-plays. Fortunately, Celestiq buyers are "abandoning their orders" (the few buyers that actually placed orders, that is).

In conclusion, nothing has changed with the "new G.M.," that still uses bailouts as an irresponsible strategy.

Don't buy G.M. crap and throw your hard-earned money away. It's not "patriotic" to support these multinational swine that masquerade as North American brands. If you really want to support your country, you'll purchase the best value, most reliable vehicle for your money, so don't feel bad about buying "foreign" vehicles. (And they often feature more local content than the so-called "domestics.")

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